Letter that reminds me of me
Jul 23
Letter from the Heart
Barb’s Note: The following letter is from someone who has found himself in a position that most of us who have done the research about the state our nation is in can relate to. Surrounded by people who think you are a crazed conspiracy theorist, and knowing the truth, but unable to convey that truth to those closest to you. Read the following letter and understand that no matter your circumstances, you are not alone.

By Barry Lane Tudor

Barbara, I know we don’t know each other much, but I sure do appreciate your activism. It has inspired me somewhat to become more active myself, although I am scared for a number of reasons, first being is I am still in the government system awaiting “retirement” in 6 years. I don’t think we’ll make it that far.

We are severely outnumbered, we are out-powered (media and military wise), we are slandered, ridiculed, and despised, they are taught to distrust us (the American people), to despise us. Even family members of mine think I am nuts for my “conspiracy” theories, which as you know are more related to true investigation and brutal honesty of my position in the military industrial complex.
Will we be able to turn this terrible tide? They have had so long, they are so far…it is very scary. And the money…I have seen in my job the money flow more than quintuple for nutty ideas – like the big mobile evac ambulance video for instance. I am beginning to lose faith that we sane few can turn this insane tide.

Please if you can, continue to encourage me…you and Marti and Alex Jones and a very scant few others online are my only grasp onto reality anymore other than my grips upon nature and spirituality, which help keep me sane.

I have very few people I can relate truth with due to my position in the gov. I am the enemy combatant they train against, and I haven’t got any violence left within me other than self protection and sustenance for family. But I do have spirit, a brain, and this poor body, what is left of it. My spirit is crying out urgently to get out of here, but I remain trapped in my circumstances of life and will face the future here as it comes with this body.

The future is foreboding to me, my spirit tells me darkness is ahead, but there is a bright ray in the far future of hope for mankind. I cannot fathom the lies I swallowed throughout my life, only to awaken in this hour, eyebrows raised, fists clenched, and mad as hell. How could they ruin this most beautiful, free, independent country, and point us headlong into ruin, selling us out along the way?

I am angry at my fathers generation, his fathers generation, for it was their generations who were misled, who were misguided, who were passive enough to allow this to happen, and then my generation. My generation, who was lied to, told how free we were, how this was a nation of opportunity, how we were the greatest nation. We tried voting democrat, trying to change the tide of Vietnam. We lost ourselves in hedonistic pleasures, entertainment, drugs, cars, cheap gas and electricity, unending wealth and desecration of the flesh during the “good times” of the 70s through 80s. When the soviet union fell, I voted for republican for first time. I became that for several years, subscribing to Rush Limbaugh in Sacramento, even before he went national. Remember the egg stained billboards?

After all those changes, those turbulent years, I was starting to become an independent, tired of the lies train of republicrats and lies of demlicans alike, I became a libertarian. I could no longer listen to Rush Limbaugh, and found a little old man named Ron Paul, who started me off into libertarian party.

It was 911 that brought everything into focus for me. In about 2003, I became totally aware of a great many things I was ignorant of before. In 2003 I also found Alex Jones website and show. I watched documentaries, did some slight investigative work on my own through my channels, and found truth at last. Now everything seemed to fit into a pattern I could recognize.

I found a great many other sites of like mind, including Farmwars, which is one of my favorites. You girls got it. I wish I knew people like you in my life to talk to, like minded. I seem to be surrounded by hardline republicans, military, who hate my kind of person with a prejudice a black man might understand, only because I dare to question authority, to investigate alternative news, to try to find out what is going on.

I think I have found out what is going on, but to my great consternation, I am a huge minority, and furthermore, talking about the forbidden subject has driven wedges in my familial relationships that I found very disconcerting. I have tried to talk seriously and deeply about the situations we are facing, but get denounced, called un-American, called traitor, am ridiculed. Some spout republican crap. Some spout democrat crap. They believe the lie like it was the truth, and will fight against the truth with all their might, like good ignorant fools do.

Sorry to spout like this, but I wanted to know if you have any similarity to this on your end? At times, Barbara, I wonder if my family is right…I must be crazy. But the truth I have found is, that it is the TRUTH that is crazy. Crazy people could not make up crazier stuff than the truth of where we are as a nation.

Thanks for being there, and FYI my middle son, 27, is joining the army. Against my wishes, but it is his life. He thinks I am insane…youth…

~Barry